Listen more, but don't be afraid to share
Wow. Reading this book started from a conversation with my mother in law as we commiserated how we don't listen like we want to. What a gift to share in reading with her and then I passed it on to my parents. It utterly is worth reading and a fast read because it is so profound AND practical! Something for every life stage.
Here are just a few excerpts... what has surprised me is that listening is giving AND receiving. So many practical, immediate applications. I think the world needs this... listen more and share appropriately... right? We must be in charge of our own selves and model to others... that is true power that serves and changes society. This is what I tell my kids! You can only change yourself.
The first part of 1. says Make a list of good listeners you know. What makes them a good listener?
If you want to hear a story....keep reading...
So, sheepishly, I will recommend books before I finish. I can't help it if I am excited about something I have needed and it is helping! So, I have three rising teenagers. I got this book to help listening to adults, but I had no idea it would help me with me kids. Total bonus. My son and I are very different and we have been at odds with his pace for getting his drivers license. I am "get it done and don't wait" and he is "if it's not a priority, don't worry about it" Drivers license has not been a priority for him... I lost patience with him when he told me he lost some of his hours because he didn't write on the right sheet. Fine.... So, trying to apply my newfound skills and encouraged by my husband, I sought my son out. I practiced listening and caring even though in my frustration, I didn't really feel patient anymore (I did last year, but my patience and empathy had leaked out over the year) We ended up having a lovely conversation where my son felt heard, and I felt heard. We came to a bit of understanding! To be human is to be interdependent and that is the glory of family. We need each other and we can't get away from each other, so we have to work it out! Then, another victory was this very morning I was able to push past feeling and really listen to my second born. Typically if she is frustrated and scared about needs not getting met, she will be very cross and hard to talk to... There is already stress in the morning and today, we discovered she did not have what she needed for lunch. In the past, if she is spewing swamp goo from her mouth and I feel she is being spoiled in her food choices, I apply the toddler rule "I can't hear you when you are yelling like that" That does not work with teenagers who are acting like giant toddlers, but have a felt need of being heard and listened to. I think I hear, but don't listen well... So, after we had some silence in the car... I was able to reflect back to her what I thought she was really saying and extend mercy to her, to which she responded immediately! Victory... Even if the rest of the book stinks, the first section is totally worth it. It really encouraged me that building self respect and self esteem in kids is in part through listening!!! It also occurred to me that many of my wounds and insecurities are from not being listened to!
My work is my family, but what is yours? Do you have co-workers, roommates, family members that need to hear from you and you need to listen to them? Are you NOT being honest and sharing? Giving and receiving is very satisfying in relationships, so I am very thankful for this book and commend it.
Second chapter exercises...
Lord, I think this is part of why I love praying. I feel listened to and loved. Thank you for always hearing AND listening to us. Help me be secure in that knowledge and extend time and space for others to share and to hear from me. Thank you that's how you made us and it so beautiful when it goes right! Amen.
