The gift of a diagnosis of ADHD at 50
Two years ago, my husband and I were surprised to discover our son had ADHD. He did not get diagnosed until the end of his sophomore year in college after a lot of confusing conversations. He is very intelligent and gifted and had always managed to get good grades in school until he progressed into life on his own and increasingly managing his own time. One day as we were getting his evaluation, he casually mentioned, “Mom, I think you have ADHD, too.” I immediately dismissed the notion because I thought I didn’t match the stereotype and misinformation I had acquired about ADHD.
Well, he was correct, and I was incorrect. As I processed his paperwork and began to read and understand ADHD, I increasingly suspected I had it. There were many signs that pointed to this suspicion, but the latest was how I had failed this one midterm in one of my French classes. It was confusing because I had studied, I was ready. Then when I took the test online, it was like my brain short circuited, and I could not adequately answer the questions. I felt like I had failed because I was bad at taking online tests and got confused, rather than I had failed because I didn’t know the information. It was a step by step and classic case of being triggered which led to panic which led to bad decision making. It turns out this is typical and standard for the ADHD brain, and what I thought was just attributed to my age was actually attributed to my brain! It made me curious to see if, indeed, I would be considered ADHD. I was motivated to get tested because I thought this was hindering me from attaining some goals and dreams. I was really interested in receiving help from accommodations in my college program and also, I was considering graduate school and teaching French in a formal setting, which I knew would require some change on my part.
I signed up for an appointment through my university. It took a long time to get an appointment because there is so much mental health struggle currently and at the time, it was shortly after the lock down. I finally got an appointment during the Spring of 2022. After a series of questions via a history I provided, an in person evaluation , as well as family history provided by my husband and mother, I was diagnosed with ADHD and not only that, but severe. I found it amusing that both my husband and mother apologized for their surveys because they love me and think I am great, but they had to answer honestly and also realized that I had ADHD.
Receving this diagnosis has been a game changer. I am in the process of reflecting on my past life experiences in light of this new information and also I have begun a therapy treatment process. At one point, I was like, “Oh, this NEVER goes away.” I am absorbing the facts and also I am curious about the stigma and response of friends and family members. My daughter is taking AP Psych and one day, she turned to me and commented, “Mom, you have a BIOLOGICAL problem.” A lot of people have asked me, “Don’t we all have ADHD?” and I would say, it is my understanding, that according to brain research, they have discovered ADHD brains are different and there is a continuum of differences within the ADHD diagnosis.
While I am low key devastated by many bad memories of the consequences of being unaware of this problem, I am also motivated and excited to learn how to manage it because of all of the benefits that also come with ADHD. It’s not just a problem or a disability and in fact, there are many, many benefits like creativity, hyper-focus as well as varying degrees of “thinking outside the box”. So many business people and artists have ADHD because they have lots of energy and take risks. What we need help with is for the practical and the daily living challenge that the ADHD brain is not so great at. Where it takes away from daily living is the forgetfulness, the distraction, the appearance of not caring or listening and so on. I am hoping to write a few installments and thoughts on the therapy process, so, I will end here with just the diagnosis story in hopes of contributing my part to breaking off any stigmas of mental health issues. I know I have always been intimidated by mental health, but now, like everybody, we are becoming more aware, and I think more free in our discovery process! ADHD is not just a problem, it is also a gift that keeps on giving, and I for one am super grateful for having discovered this status at 50. I have been humbled by all the pitfalls and I look forward to learning how to manage the deterrents to living so that I can lean into all the creative energy that this physical reality brings!
